Red Eyes Over Red Flags

There comes a point in life when you realize exhaustion is temporary, but emotional chaos has a way over overstaying its welcome.

Red-eye flights get a bad rap. They can leave you sleepless, exhausted and questioning life choices at 5:00 a.m., and occasionally with back pain. But, then again, so do men with red flags. The difference is… a red eye takes me somewhere new and exciting and leaves me with an abundance of adrenaline and excitement to get me through the day. Whereas a man with red flags makes me question if it’s even worth getting out of bed that day. The most exciting place he takes me is a trip to go see a therapist to uncover the mental gymnastics he’s played on my mind.

At least a red-eye flight is honest. You know exactly what you’re getting into. You know up front you’re going to be uncomfortable and lose some sleep. Red flags? They’re disguised in lies and make you believe they’re charming, but you’re just left with confusion and bullshit.

I once dated someone who only showed up or texted when it was convenient. Plans were always tentative. Texts came in waves. When I would bring it up, I would be gaslit. That same month, I booked a quick weekend getaway to visit a friend. With no vacation time, I took the red eye, and arrived exhausted, makeup smudged, and running on fumes—yet I had felt lighter than I had in weeks. It occurred to me I was willing to be tired for the experiences and people who showed up, but bending myself into knots for someone who didn’t.

We’re so quick to take the chance on something that appears amazing, even if we know it’s covered in red flags. But the honest option that may pose minor inconveniences but you know exactly what you get often gets disregarded.

Why I’ll Always Take The Red Eye:

·       If you live on the west coast and you travel east, you gain an entire day with a red eye without having to take an extra day off work!

·       If you get to the resort after 5pm, you are paying the hotel for a day you didn’t get. You’re also paying the airline for a seat to sit in all day that same day! You’re paying for a day that you didn’t get.

·       2:30 a.m. wake up calls? No, thank you! Living in Los Angeles, I could have to leave the house 4-5 hours before my flight time thanks to 24-7 traffic hell. With a 6:00 a.m. flight, that would mean getting up when my friends are just getting home from the clubs.

·       I’ll never get tired of watching a sunrise from 35,000 ft. in the air

Essentially, I look at red-eye flights as an initial setback that pays off! It appears bad at first but the outcome is so much better than what you expected. Essentially—the opposite of a red flag.

Why I Stopped Accepting the Red Flags

While a red eye has a destination, the red flags just keep you circling. It’s an ongoing flight that you can’t get off.

I’d rather:

·       Be tired than confused

·       Be jet-lagged than emotionally drained

·       Arrive groggy with excitement instead of rested and unsettled

Sleep can be recovered quickly. Trust takes forever to recover.

Preferring a red eye doesn’t mean I enjoy discomfort. It means I prefer to sacrifice a little discomfort on the front end to have more time to enjoy and play on the back end.

Final Boarding Call

These days, if I have to choose between temporary discomfort and long-term misalignment, I’m grabbing the carry-on and heading to the gate.

I prefer a red eye over red flags. At least one of them gets me where I’m going and where I belong.