Red Eyes Over Red Flags
There comes a point in life when you realize exhaustion is temporary, but emotional chaos has a way over overstaying its welcome.
Red-eye flights get a bad rap. They can leave you sleepless, exhausted and questioning life choices at 5:00 a.m., and occasionally with back pain. But, then again, so do men with red flags. The difference is… a red eye takes me somewhere new and exciting and leaves me with an abundance of adrenaline and excitement to get me through the day. Whereas a man with red flags makes me question if it’s even worth getting out of bed that day. The most exciting place he takes me is a trip to go see a therapist to uncover the mental gymnastics he’s played on my mind.
At least a red-eye flight is honest. You know exactly what you’re getting into. You know up front you’re going to be uncomfortable and lose some sleep. Red flags? They’re disguised in lies and make you believe they’re charming, but you’re just left with confusion and bullshit.
I once dated someone who only showed up or texted when it was convenient. Plans were always tentative. Texts came in waves. When I would bring it up, I would be gaslit. That same month, I booked a quick weekend getaway to visit a friend. With no vacation time, I took the red eye, and arrived exhausted, makeup smudged, and running on fumes—yet I had felt lighter than I had in weeks. It occurred to me I was willing to be tired for the experiences and people who showed up, but bending myself into knots for someone who didn’t.
We’re so quick to take the chance on something that appears amazing, even if we know it’s covered in red flags. But the honest option that may pose minor inconveniences but you know exactly what you get often gets disregarded.
Why I’ll Always Take The Red Eye:
· If you live on the west coast and you travel east, you gain an entire day with a red eye without having to take an extra day off work!
· If you get to the resort after 5pm, you are paying the hotel for a day you didn’t get. You’re also paying the airline for a seat to sit in all day that same day! You’re paying for a day that you didn’t get.
· 2:30 a.m. wake up calls? No, thank you! Living in Los Angeles, I could have to leave the house 4-5 hours before my flight time thanks to 24-7 traffic hell. With a 6:00 a.m. flight, that would mean getting up when my friends are just getting home from the clubs.
· I’ll never get tired of watching a sunrise from 35,000 ft. in the air
Essentially, I look at red-eye flights as an initial setback that pays off! It appears bad at first but the outcome is so much better than what you expected. Essentially—the opposite of a red flag.
Why I Stopped Accepting the Red Flags
While a red eye has a destination, the red flags just keep you circling. It’s an ongoing flight that you can’t get off.
I’d rather:
· Be tired than confused
· Be jet-lagged than emotionally drained
· Arrive groggy with excitement instead of rested and unsettled
Sleep can be recovered quickly. Trust takes forever to recover.
Preferring a red eye doesn’t mean I enjoy discomfort. It means I prefer to sacrifice a little discomfort on the front end to have more time to enjoy and play on the back end.
Final Boarding Call
These days, if I have to choose between temporary discomfort and long-term misalignment, I’m grabbing the carry-on and heading to the gate.
I prefer a red eye over red flags. At least one of them gets me where I’m going and where I belong.
✈️💘 I Can Plan an International Trip Before He Can Plan a Date
Let’s talk about something I’ve recently discovered about myself:
I can plan a 14-day international itinerary — complete with flights, hotels, cruise, activities, restaurant reservations, currency tips, and a color-coded Google map — faster than a man can decide what time he’s free on Friday.
And honestly? That says a lot.
Here’s the thing: When I want to go somewhere, I book the flight.
When I want to see something, I do the research and build an itinerary.
When I want a vibe, I make it happen.
Meanwhile, he’s still “figuring out his schedule.”
His schedule = absolutely nothing but vibes and vague commitments he made to himself in the shower.
✈️ There’s a special skill in being a woman who travels
Women who travel solo, often, or even with their girlfriends all have the same superpower: we make things happen.
Quickly. Efficiently. Effortlessly.
Need flights? Done.
Need hotels? Booked.
Need a full list of activities, hotspots, rooftop bars, hidden gems, and cute photo spots?
Already saved to a folder.
Meanwhile, the guy you’re texting is still typing, deleting, and retyping:
“What do you wanna do?” Or, my favorite: “WYD?”
💬
Here’s why we can plan trips so fast:
1. We’re used to taking care of ourselves.
We don’t wait for someone to make our lives fun or memorable — we just go.
2. We know what we like.
Food, views, vibes, hotels… we have standards, and we’re not shy about them.
3. We’ve learned not to rely on men for planning.
Because let’s be honest:
If I left my weekend up to him, I’d end up making plans my friends instead because he waited too long to decide what he wants to do or I get a last-minute request to come over and watch a movie that we’ve already seen.
4. We have main-character energy.
We’re not waiting around for someone to choose us — we’re choosing experiences.
✈️ Planning a date shouldn’t be harder than booking a flight
A date is literally:
Pick a day
Pick a time
Pick a place
ONE place.
Not five hotels, two airports, three train stations, and a ferry.
And still…
Men act like this is the most complicated decision of their lives.
If I can cross a border, navigate a foreign subway system, and order food in a different language, he can… bare minimum… choose a restaurant.
But somehow? No.
💘 So what does this mean?
It means I’m done over-investing in under-planned men.
If I can plan a whole international trip in 24 hours, I’m not accepting:
“Let’s just see what happens”
“I’ll let you know later”
“What do you wanna do?”
“I’m bad at planning”
“WYD”
You’re not bad at planning.
You’re bad at effort.
And effort is the bare minimum.
✨ Final thought
If a man wants to see you, he’ll plan.
If he wants to date you, he’ll make it clear.
If he wants your time, he’ll value it.
Until then?
I have flights to catch. ✈️
And I promise you:
I will always book a plane ticket faster than I will wait on someone’s bare-minimum energy.